:(

Mar. 12th, 2012 08:26 pm
lienne: A fountain pen nib, lying on paper. (Default)
i've been treating myself really badly this week.

i keep skipping things like sleep and meals and light therapy, and i remind myself not to but then i do anyway, because i just can't make myself go to bed or get food or sit still for my light. and every time i have a moment to myself without anything else to think about it's like i'm just soaking in this vast apathetic puddle of self-loathing. i don't even have the physical or emotional energy to have strong feelings about hating myself, it's just "oh yeah, i'm a worthless turd. what else is new."

...the radio just came on with a commercial voiced by a lady who mispronounced "Toyota" twice. It was "Tayota" the first time and "Tota" the second. And yes, that is what she was advertising. idgi. don't they, like, pay attention to this shit? it wasn't cutesy and intentional or anything, she just couldn't say the word right. what?

anyway.

yeah so that.

whatever, i'll live. hopefully i'll get a chance to catch up on my energy debt sometime soon. it would be just great if i did not respond to exhaustion by getting too stressed/tired to take care of myself and thereby end up making it worse, but eh, have to work with what i've got.
lienne: A fountain pen nib, lying on paper. (Default)
some kind of horrible inertia i don't even know

c'mon self it's not going to be that bad

except now it will because you went and skipped two hours of the eight you should be getting to sleep in

(had a cold, don't have a cold anymore, going back to work now, stressed over things)
lienne: Outer space. (emotion: not in touch with reality)
Okay guys.

I saw X-Men: First Class.

It was an amazing movie in many ways and I loved it quite a lot!

But.

spoiler )

Okay, I'm done.

no wait )
lienne: Craig Olejnik staring in total noncomprehension. (emotion: bewildered)
I... have a job?

Interview happened at ten in the morning. Email with a job offer happened at quarter after four in the afternoon. They move fast in this place!

It's a tiny startup company that's doing really fascinating shit with file systems. I am excited as hell. And inexplicably not terrified! HERE'S HOPING THAT CONTINUES.

omg you guys.
lienne: Several beads painted with smiling faces. (emotion: friendly)
But holy shit, you guys, it worked.

(#MooreandMe post. May contain triggery material in post or comments—I can't keep the full details in my head right now because my thoughtpole count is still a little screwed.)
lienne: Craig Olejnik staring in total noncomprehension. (emotion: bewildered)
Every week after class I take the subway to the end of the line and then get on a bus to go the rest of the way home.

Lately the station is being renovated; they're fixing up one of the escalators and, for reasons that escape me, replacing all the doors leading out to the bus platform from the waiting area.

Which is how I ended up last night coming upon the amazing visual of a big sign proclaiming BARRIER FREE ACCESS TO BUSES over a doorway from which the door had been removed. And temporarily replaced with wooden planks. A barrier, you might say.

If only I'd had a camera, I would've made it a macro.

!!!

Sep. 29th, 2010 10:42 pm
lienne: An anime character making a gesture of correction. (emotion: pedantic)
Guys guys guys GUYS

guys

there is this fic

actually there are three fics

they are for the BBC Sherlock

and they have reduced me to nothing but exclamation marks

seriously, look at me, I am not actually made of human parts anymore, there is just ! for flesh and ! for hair and ! for bone and ! for blood

would you like to read these fics?

you would!

well here they are.
lienne: A fountain pen nib, lying on paper. (Default)
Trigger warning I guess; also, I feel it is important to say before I start writing the rest of this entry that I am in no danger, and you can stop worrying now.

A dramatic retelling of my thought processes. )

Really, I just need to pin down my sleep schedule and stick to it like a burr. And people wonder why I try not to screw around with my wakeup/sleep times. Fuck. If I wasn't going to bed within spitting distance of midnight and waking up within spitting distance of dawn, maybe I could get a better handle on this bullshit.
lienne: A fountain pen nib, lying on paper. (Default)
Okay, so let me make something clear.

I love Toronto.

I love our ridiculous architecture. I love our giant penis with its accompanying lone testicle (it's called the Skydome, guys, Rogers Centre my ass). I love our land made of garbage.

I love the U of T campus. I love Queen's Park. I love the ROM, even with its giant spiky tumor. I love the Science Centre.

I love Yonge Street. I love Spadina. I love the Danforth. I love the hour-long walk from Bloor to Eglinton. I love all the movies that film here and try to pretend it is New York. I love the TV shows that film here and don't.

And the assholes who decided to host the G20 in the fucking downtown core, and the assholes who decided to pass secret laws denying us the rights we expect—the assholes who decided to let cop cars burn while they were busy harassing and assaulting peaceful protesters, the assholes who decided to beat up journalists, the assholes who decided to arrest more people than have ever been arrested en masse in the history of the country and then treat them all like shit: as far as I'm concerned these people have just walked up to the city I love and punched it in the face.

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